That six letter word...

On December 15th at 3pm I received a call from my surgeon who performed my right thyroid-ectomy on December 10th.  This call changed my life forever.  He told me that while the nodule was ok, the right thyroid showed differently.  Then he mentioned that dirty six letter word that no one ever wants to hear...CANCER!!!!!! 

I have Non-Hodgkin's B-Cell Lymphoma, Large Cell type.  What the hell does that mean, you ask!!!  Well, I'm not quite sure.  I meet with the hematologist/oncologist tomorrow (12/24).  I have a lot of questions and hope to get a lot of answers.  I will learn my plan of attack.  On 12/31/09 I go for my PET scan.  This (from what I understand) will help determine what stage of cancer I have.

I have decided to use my blog to help my friends & family stay informed with my journey through all of this.  Sorry "hipsters", I don't think I will be having my left PAO for quite some time...much bigger fish to fry now.  Some of my friends had mentioned carepages.com and caringbridge.org.  I looked into them, but figured that since I have a blog already set up, I would use it.  And people can "subscribe" to this blog so that they can get a notification when I post something. 

I want to thank everyone that has been so supportive already.  I am so blessed to have the people in my life that I do!!!  I am strong and have fought through so much crap in my 28 years that cancer does not have a chance with me!!!  I will beat this...failure is not an option!!!! 

So if you would like to follow this journey...thank you!!  And in the words of Lance Armstrong "LIVE STRONG"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quiet...but for good reasons!!

So I have been pretty quiet from my blog...but I have a great reason...I trained and ran a 5k!!!! I know - I can hardly believe it myself. I started training about 9 weeks ago and ran my first ever 5k on Thanksgiving!!! I finished in 37 minutes and to be honest, I think that is pretty darn good considering everything I have been through.

Before the race - I apparently am not awake yet...

I had a great support team. My friends Fred and Alicia ran the race with me and my husband and parents came to cheer for me. Fred and Alicia are both pretty tall and have not had hip surgery, so at the beginning of the race I told each of them that if my pace was too slow that I would be completely ok with them running ahead. Alicia ran ahead and finished her first 5k in 33 minutes - I am so proud of her!! But as much as I pleaded with him to run ahead, Fred stayed right beside me and near the end coached me to the finish line.

I am not going to lie...it wasn't the prettiest race. At 2.5 miles legs and hips were screaming! My left hip (non-operated) was the worst. My friend who ran with me said he could hear me "clicking" and saw the pain on my face. That is when he started talking to me - telling me that we were going to finish the race and that there was only a short distance to go. He really helped push me along. Because I am sure as many of you know the pain can be debilitating and once you reach a certain level of pain - your body wants to shut done. But I did it - I crossed that finish line!! When I crossed Alicia was there waiting and jumped on me exclaiming "You did it - I am so proud of you!!". I hugged her and I hugged Fred for helping me achieve something I wanted to badly to accomplish.

After the race - see I'm still smiling!!!

After I could breath again, my emotions got the best of me and I cried. Last year at this time I was still on crutches and wasn't even on 50% weight bearing and this year I ran a 5k!! I feel so blessed!!!

Now...about that left hip of mine...yeah it is definitely letting me know that it is there. I have been in quite a bit of pain lately, and I am not happy. This is the same kind of pain the right hip had before surgery. I am scheduled to go in for an injection in two weeks and I hope it helps. Although - I am hoping for it to be some miracle shot - but really all it is doing is prolonging life before surgery. Right now I am seriously considering calling my surgeon and setting up the date to have the left PAO done. I am just not sure...on one hand I say yes - let's get this done and over with so I can move on with my life, but on the other hand I say no - because I am not sure I am mentally prepared to do it again. I have a very tough decision to make right now. All I know for sure is that I want to keep running - I love it!!!

All I can do is fight!!!!

It is hard to believe that at this time last year I was sitting in the hospital waiting for my surgeon to open my right hip back up and remove an infection. The weird thing is, my left arm is very itchy today in the spot where the first picc line was, and the scar is even raised...too weird!!

My right hip has been feeling pretty good. And I have been really testing it out lately. I have always wanted to run but either my asthma or my hips have kept me from it. As with most everything I do, I am giving this my all. I am planning on running in a Turkey Trot this year and started training. I am telling you...I really feel like my body hates me. I have been trying to go to the gym every day except Sundays. I was doing well until last week when, boom, respiratory infection!! This is the second one in a months time!! Last night was my first night back in a week. I made it through my run despite coughing and pain from the left hip. Then I met with my trainer, who kicked my butt. Today I was only feeling a little tired until now. I was sitting at my desk and started to get short of breath...back to the nebulizer treatments I go...

As I mentioned...the left hip (non-operated side) is starting to show it's bad side. And quite honestly I am surprised it took this long for the pain to get more frequent. For the last couple weeks I have been dealing with pain in the left hip during any activity. Last night was the worst I have had. I was running on the treadmill and I felt a familiar pain. I had this pain once before in my right hip...this is the pain that was the beginning of the end of pre-op life. This is the pain that started the series of injections that slowly started to lose their effectiveness. And now, here I am with this pain in the left hip!! I know I need to call and schedule the injection...I just am so not ready to be there again!! Not to mention I have another surgery of a different kind in my very near future...

Within the next month or so I will be having thyroid surgery. Right before my 3rd right hip surgery, I had an appointment with my family doctor. While talking I mentioned that I had stopped taking my Synthroid (my medicine for my hypo-thyroid). He looked at me with the "What??? Why would you do that??" look. I told him that I didn't feel any different whether I was on or off the medicine. This prompted him to feel my thyroid. The look that came over his face was not one I was expecting. His eyes got very big and he immediately ordered tests. While I was recovery from the 3rd right hip surgery I went through a series of tests. The tests revealed that I have a quite large nodule on my thyroid. I had a needle biopsy and met with an endocrinologist. We talked about various options regarding this nodule. My concern...the "c" word...cancer!! There is a chance that due to the size of the nodule the needle biopsy was not able to get samples from all of the nodule and that there could be cancer. I have decided that I really don't want to take that chance and I am having it removed. They will be removing half of my thyroid and the nodule. While I am still under in surgery, they will examine the nodule for cancer. If there is any cancer, they will remove my entire thyroid and I will be treated for cancer. I can not tell you how scared I am of this!!! I am praying very hard and trying to think only happy thoughts.

I am a fighter!!! I always have been and I always will be!!! But sometimes, I feel like my brain and my body don't see eye to eye.

Anyway, to some it up

• The right hip feels pretty good
• The left hip is ready to start receiving injections (even though I am not)
• The respiratory system is junk and I wish I could get a new one
• The thyroid and it's nodule friend must come out...I will not let cancer in!!!

1 YEAR POST-OP!!!!

WOW - what a difference a year makes!! I am officially one year out from my original PAO surgery. This past year has been full of hope, excitement, sadness, setbacks, and happiness all rolled into one. There were times where I lost all hope of ever being the same person I was before hip dysplasia - but then the good days started to out weigh the bad. I can with out a doubt say that I am a stronger person now, physically and mentally, then I have ever been before! I had a post in the works about how mentally taxing this surgery is, but that is for another day. Today I celebrate that I have made it through the year!!

Let's take a look at then and now...

Then: Pre-op I could not walk or do any activity without falling down
Now: I am increasing my activity level and time every day, still a little pain (but I have had more surgeries then most), but overall feeling pretty good.

Then: Post-op, I could not move my leg at all. And I remember thinking 'Will I ever walk again?' As it was not very convincing to be able to see your leg, so you know it's there, but not be able to feel or move it.
Now: The doctor can not believe how flexible I am. It's a little weird to have him and his residents move my leg and hip around and say things like "Wow!! That is impressive!" I still have an area on my upper front and outer thigh that is still diminished for sensation. But, as far as I'm concerned, that is a small price to pay for where I am now.

Then: I sat in my "sitting room" that my loving husband set up for me. I would work from home, knit, read, and watch tv, and then get so bored!! All I wanted to do was be able to be part of the world again. I felt so left out as my husband and friend left for State College on the weekends to work security at the PSU games.
Now: I never stop running!!! I am either at work, the gym, tennis courts, or a bike trail!!!! I love every minute of it, but there is a little part of me that would love to sit - but I will save that for the Left PAO. I am now heading up to State College with the guys to go to the games or just tailgate.

I'm not 100% done recovering yet, but my latest surgery was in June. It was not as major as the original, but it set me back a little. Reflecting on the last year I feel so blessed to be where I am!! I see the light at the end of this tunnel and that makes me very happy.

I had my 10 week post-op appointment for the surgery in June on August 10th. Dr. Goodspeed was so ecstatic with my progress. He told me that after everything that I have been through with this surgery, the pain that I have endured, and my high tolerance for the pain, I will breeze through childbirth. I asked for that in writing :-). When we were finished with the appointment he said that since I was doing so well, we would consider the appointment my 1 year post-op as well. I don't have to go back unless I need to. He asked me to call or email him periodically to let him know how I am doing. That is the least I can do for the person who changed my life!!

YAY for 1 year!!!!

Two weeks post-op...

Update...

I am now 17 days out from my 3rd and hopefully final surgery on my right hip. As I stated in my last post, the doctor feels very confident in a full recovery now - as do I!! I haven't had a lot of pain with this surgery, which no pain is always a good thing. I have even been to the gym quite a bit. Last night I did 9.25 miles on the bike in 35 minutes with a resistance level of 7!! Not bad considering everything!! I can not wait to get back to running, mountain biking, and tennis again.

I had my 2 week post-op on Thursday, June 18th. The doctor is very pleased with my progress and could not believe that I was walking without a cane! He reiterated just how large the heterotopic bone growth was. He showed me on the x-rays that it was actually covering the head of my femur bone! Holy crap - no wonder I could hardly lift my leg without getting pain and the snapping feeling. He said he could not believe how fast my body grows and repairs bone. He had never told me this before - but he said that at my 6 weeks post-op for the PAO the bone fusion was further than normal. He said that if I were to ever break my femur bone, it would probably heal very, very quickly. When I told my mom this her response was, "Renee, this is not a challenge!!"

I asked the doctor when I could start running again. His eyes got really big and he said "Hmm, I have never had anyone ask me that at 2 weeks post-op." He said that I could start trying to do everything that I want to do. I have to "practice driving" for a little while though, as that movement from gas to brake is still pretty weak. As it is, my husband is being very protective and is refusing to let me drive to work yet, so he has been bringing me to and from work. I could get use to having a chauffeur!

The only thing I am "dealing" with now is tiredness (gotta get back into the routine) and itching. The itching is driving me crazy!!! The doc put me on Indomethacin after this surgery as a precautionary measure to heed off heterotopic bone growth again. I finished up the medicine on Saturday, but am still having problems itching. My body is starting to look like a scratching post for cats! I wake up in the middle of the night because I am so itchy. I am hoping that the medicine soon works out of my system and I stop looking like a dog with fleas.

I start back to PT tomorrow. I am looking forward to it since now with the extra bone removed, I should be able to lift my leg and do the exercises. Plus my physical therapist have become friends - it's hard not to when you see this person 2-3 times a week. Plus I think you should at least be nice with the person who has to touch your bum (to feel the muscles).

I feel a lot of hope from this surgery. I truly feel that this will be the last chapter in the right hip PAO!!!

3rd Times a Charm...

I am home from the hospital. I came home Saturday morning. I am hoping that the third time is a charm and that is was my last surgery for the right hip. The doctor said that he pulled a piece of "bone" (heterotopic - scar tissue formed into bone) from me that was a little larger than his thumb. Let me tell you - he has chunky fingers. He said he was very surprised at just how large this bone was and feels that it was the cause of me not getting fully recovered and all of my pain. Wow!!! What a relief to hear that - I can't wait to start PT - to really test things out.


I am off of work for two weeks, although I will be working from home. This recovery it already a lot different from the first and second surgeries. I am able to be full weight bearing and I cam walking around the house unassisted. It feels so nice to be able to walk around the house and do the stairs. Since it is June and the weather is gorgeous, I am taking advantage of sitting outside. This is totally different from last time when I couldn't do the steps and was confined to the spare room that Doug made into a sitting room for me.

This is where I am recouping today. I am checking emails from work, resting, and doing a little knitting. I am pretty sore still. I have a huge bandage with at least an inch of gauze packed in it over my entire right hip. I am to leave that on for 5 days. I can't wait until Wednesday when I can remove it - it is so itchy.

I feel pretty good about the recovery from this one already. The doctor had me start on the stationary bike one day after my surgery to keep things moving. It is so funny to go to the gym and see the looks I get for walking in there with a cane. I seriously want to lift my shorts leg and say - look I just had surgery, so please stop starring. I requested to get my hardware from my hip. The doctor said I should receive it in 2 weeks as it has to go through pathology. That should be interesting to see the 5 screws that held me together for nine months.

Thank you to everyone for you prayers, well wishes, and good thoughts as I went through surgery. Now it is time to recover and close this chapter!!

New Surgery Date

I went to the surgeons last Thursday for my pre-op appointment. You know pre-op for the June 26th Surgery, right? Wrong! It turns out that my surgeon has to have hip surgery (ironic I know). His surgery is on June 20th. There is no way he would be able to perform my surgery just six days after his own! A lot of his surgeries are very time consuming, so they are all pushed back until July - September. My surgery is only three hours long and the doctor wants to get this hardware out because of the post-op infection I had so they wanted to squeeze me in before his surgery. My new surgery date is Friday, June 5th!!! AHHHH - that's right, this week!! I am freaking out a little. I had so many things planned between now and June 26th that I have had to cancel.

For this 3rd and hopefully final surgery on my right hip they are going to be removing the hardware, doing a scope to fix a possible labrum tear, and removing a heterotopic ossification.

Heterotopic ossification — Heterotopic ossification (HO) is a process by which the soft tissues around the hip harden into bone. This complication is more common in males than in females, and more often affects patients with other muscle or bone conditions. Patients with HO may experience hip stiffness, or may feel no discomfort at all. Patients who are known to be at high risk for HO may be given medications or radiation therapy after surgery to prevent HO from occurring. Borrowed from: http://www.uptodate.com/patients/content/topic.do?topicKey=~l/K..Sw6LW_v63G

If you have read my previous posts, you know that the doctors thought that I had a snapping Psoas tendon. However, the ultrasound and x-rays reviled that the muscle and tendons are getting "caught" on this extra piece of bone. Boy, I'll tell you if it was going to go wrong - I think it has with this RPAO. I really hope that my LPAO won't have so many complications!!!

So these next four days are going to be pretty busy trying to to prepare for this surgery!!! Wish me luck!!!

This & That

It has been a while since I have posted, but really until the next surgery on June 26th there really has not been much to report.

I am keeping myself busy by going to the gym, running (or trying to at least) and getting back to playing tennis. I have missed tennis so much as I have been recouping. I have been out at least two times this week to play. I played with my friend for the first time since my surgery. That was a lot of fun. I was up 3 games to 1 until he started coming back. We played until we couldn't see anymore and he ended up beating me by one game. After playing, I said "Now that I have this new hip, I'm giving you a run for your money, aren't I" to which he replied "You are playing really well". See there, my game was bad because of the hip...haha take that!! I am not competitive at all...or sarcastic.

My right hip has been sore, but I admit I have been putting the beat down on it with tennis and running. I am still hyper sensitive in my thigh area with the nerves and feeling coming back. I am quite anxious to have June 26th get here and be done with. After this next surgery I will be able to truly move on!!

So really, no news or little news is good. It means I am holding on. Hope everyone enjoys this wonderful Memorial Day weekend. We are putting a new roof on the house this weekend. Don't worry, I am on the ground crew. There is NO WAY I would do that type of incline with still recovering. Roof, tennis, and picnics = a busy weekend!!

7 Month Post PAO

It has been 7 months and 4 days since my RPAO. All and all I am feeling pretty good. I have had my fair share of complications with this surgery, but all and all I do not regret it. I have some pain and weakness yet, but I can walk again with out falling.

Since my last post I went to see my surgeon on 4/9/09. I was not scheduled to see him, but when I got to PT and Paul saw that I was still in pain, he wanted to make sure that I did not hurt anything when I fell down the steps. I had x-rays taken and met with Dr. Goodspeed. The good news is that I did not do anything to the newly constructed hip. The bad news is, there is another "complication". Since surgery I have had a hard time bending then extending my leg whether it is laying, sitting, or standing. Think about putting your pants on and how you move your leg for that; or laying flat on your back and bringing your knees to chest and extending them out, like in Pilate's. When I say "hard time", I mean extreme pain and a pinching sensation. I had thought that this was because I was still too weak. Turns out I have a Snapping Psoas Tendon. Yeah, I know, if was going to happen...

The doctor said that from the reconstruction of the hip it seems as if the tendon is getting caught on a piece of bone and then releasing (think rubber band), hence the pain and popping sound. He could hear and feel it as he made me do the motions like 20 times - yes fun, fun. The good news to come out of this is that they will be able to "release" the tendon arthroscopic, which means a quicker recoup time. My surgery is scheduled for June 26th. I think this is the only year that I have ever wanted to wish away. I am eager to get this surgery and get on the recovery road again. I have stopped PT for now. My PT, Paul and me decided that it would be better to continue after the surgery. Then I will be able to do the movements with my leg that will help me get stronger.

On Sunday, April 19th I completed the MS walk of 4 miles. I was very hesitant in doing the walk this year but felt that I needed to do it. A very dear and close friend of mine was diagnosed with MS about 4 years ago. She is not even 30 years old yet!! Since her diagnosis I have walked in her name. My thought process was if someone can fight everyday of their lives with MS then I can surely suck up any pain I might feel and walk for them. The surgeon told me that the bones are healing nicely and that I can try anything I want, I just might have a little pain. By 3.5 miles, I was really feeling it and was starting to wobble (can I just tell you how much I hate wobbling - I am sure all my fellow "hipsters" can attest to this). But, I made it - 4 miles at a great paced walk. I felt like I really accomplished something!!

That same day I had my first Special Olympics tennis practice. This is my first year ever coaching and volunteering for the SO's. I have six athletes signed up. Three were not able to make it to practice due to prior obligations, one did not show, and two athletes were there. I really think I am going to enjoy coaching. One of my athletes is going to defiantly keep me on my toes this season. Since it was just two athletes, my friend (who is my assistant coach) and me participated with the athletes. So I ended up getting two very nice workouts in this Sunday. Now I am not going to lie, I was not feeling all that great that night. I ended up having to take some pain medication, which I don't like to do. But all and all I was happy to have survived the day.

Now we count down for June 26th, and pray that this will be the last surgery for my right hip!!

Btw...if any are interested I found a video of one of the things Iam getting done in June. Warning...not for the weak stomach. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWXLFnO-BMU

Just when you think your out...they pull you back in!

I have been attending physical therapy twice a week since November. I had been making great strides and was getting very excited at the prospect of leaving that part of the recovery behind. But apparently my body has decided other wise.

Last Thursday, 3/26/09 I completely broke down at PT. I felt so discouraged. Here I am six months out from surgery and I have hit a wall! I read of my fellow PAO's being finished with their PT and here I am...still. My physical therapist, Paul saw the look on my face, that look of "I'm in pain, but dammit I am going to win this battle" and that is when the talk came. Paul called over another PT who is well versed in Strain / Counterstrain. I am still having problems with my muscles communicating properly with my brain. And with more probing, they are pretty positive that it is a labral tear in my hip. I am under strict orders not to do any more lower body work outs until advised. And Paul has limited my PT to one time a week to try and get me to rest more. I have a call into my surgeon to see if I can go in for surgery in May instead of June. June was the targeted month for my screw removal, but I am really hoping for May since a) don't want to be in pain anymore and b) don't want to be sedentary anymore. I am a very active person and this "resting" thing is killing me. I physically feel ill when I can't work out!

To add insult to injury on Friday I went to go down to the basement and get something when I fell down the steps!! I tried to throw my weight and managed to land much harder on my left side, but still hurt the op (right) side pretty good. I called the surgeon and he feels that I did not do any damage. I have had a clicking sensation when I walk ever since the fall. If that and the pain do not go away within the next week, I am to call them and get in to see them. UGH!!!

My main goal is to stay strong until the next surgery. I was so very close to having this all behind me and then WHAM!! I just want to be able to enjoy the things I did before. Positive thoughts!!!

6 Months Post RPAO

Technically it is 6 months and one week from my original surgery on September 16th, 2008. I am allowed to start jogging/running now. This makes me very happy - my hips however - not liking the running just yet.

I am still in physical therapy, but I am hoping that will end soon. As I said in my last post I have a possible labrum tear. I am almost convinced of this now because the pain in that area will not go away. I told Paul (my PT) that I feel like I am in a holding pattern until June. June is when the doctor is going to take the screws out and do a hip scope (if I am still in pain). I have gotten a little better in the last month - but nothing huge. My theory is to try not to think about how slow things have been going and only think about how far I have come.

From the technical aspect of things:

• I am able to run - as tolerated
• In P.T. I have been working on agility drills to help get me back into tennis
• My scar looks pretty good and I am surprised at how quickly it has healed
• I still have to lift my leg onto the gas and brake when I first get into the car - but I am working on this in therapy
• I still have some pain during and after a work out
• On rainy days I feel like I am 90 years old - as I now "feel" the weather. The doctor told me that this is not an old wives tale, but that people who have anything done with their bones are more adapt to "feel" the weather

On a much happier and brighter note - I am anxiously awaiting April 19th. That will be my first practice as the Tennis Coach for Special Olympics Area M. I am very excited and nervous all at the same time. I hope that I can do as good of job as everyone has faith in me to do.

Also on April 19th - I will walk 3 miles for the MS walk-a-thon. I have done this every year since I found out that one of my closest friends was diagnosed with MS. I walk for her and all of the many others who have MS. I truly hope that in our lifetime there will be a cure.

So it seems that I will do my best to continue to heal and regain my strength until June. Life should keep me pretty busy until then...

Pitty party over

I am done with my pity party! Quite frankly pity parties aren't my bag! I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and that God only give you what you can handle (damn, he has a lot of faith in me). With that said...everyone deserves one day to be "off" and feel down - the next day is a new day and time to move on.

I had another post-op appointment with Goodspeed yesterday. I am not exactly sure what I was hoping to get out of that appointment - I guess I was hoping to go in, tell him about the muscle pain and weakness, and for him to say "Ah, I see. Here is what is wrong, and here is how we can fix it". That did not happen. He told be that the bones look great and from a surgical aspect I am right where I should be. My range of motion has increased since December (last appointment) and the strength tests that they do improved. Heck, my range of motion is better in my PAO hip then it is in my left (but that hip is next for surgery). Goodspeed said the only thing he could think is that I have a labrum tear. He did not see one during the PAO surgery, but said it could have happened since. The only way to know is to do a scope which he will not do until I get my screws removed at the 9 month mark. My 9 month mark is June.

I also had PT that day. I had my pity moment with Paul and voiced my frustration. But then the old Renee came through. I told him that if Goodspeed says I shouldn't be having pain and everything looks good - then it is time to kick it into high gear and fight through the pain. Goodspeed let Paul know that we could start doing more aggressive exercises. He also said I could start jogging at 6 months (March 16th...but who's counting). We did some new exercises - some hurt like a bitch, but I did them.

As you will find I have a lot of beliefs or philosophies. I truly believe overcoming things is part ability and part mind over matter. If you have it in your head that you're going to fail, well, then you most likely will. But if you have it in your head that you can overcome the obstacle - you will!! Positive thinking can be hard sometimes - but it is a key element in the healing and recouping process.

5 month (and 2 days) Post-op

Warning: this is somewhat of a pity party...I have been feeling down about my progress and needed to get it all out. Sorry for the lack of happiness. I hope to be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon!

Well it has been 5 months and 2 days since my original POA surgery. Today and the past couple of weeks have not been the best for my recovery. I have been in a lot of pain and discomfort. I feel as though I took a giant leap backwards.

Last week we had a breakthrough in physical therapy. I have not been progressing forward and this concerned my physical therapist, Paul, and myself. Paul asked another PT her thoughts on my situation. She came over to my PT table, put her hand on my hip as I was laying down. She had me relax and she moved my leg into a position, all while still having her hand on my hip. She looked over at Paul and said this was the reason that I was not getting better. My muscle is in one giant ball and can't relax. She said that this can happen with people who have hip surgery where cutting the muscle is involved and since I had it done twice - my muscle is not happy. Apparently, my brain and muscle are not working well together. So to help this, my PT is now doing what they call "Strain / Counterstrain" movements with me. Paul has be relax (which is not easy) and then he moves my leg and hip into positions that help the muscle relax. It has only been a week of this, so I am not sure how well it is working.

I have been feeling pretty down lately because of all of this. My biggest problem is that my heart and head are in it, but my body is not. I want soooo badly to be jogging and doing everything that I use to be able to do. I am really scared that I will not be ready to play tennis and that is something I look forward to doing all winter. I am also very, very concerned with gaining weight. I have come so far in my weight loss that I fear gaining even a pound. I was down 100 pounds, but when I started PT and the gym again, I gained 10, so now I am only down 90 pounds.

Anyway, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow with the surgeon and the infectious disease doctor, so I plan to talk to them about all of this. The pain and the fatigue is really wearing me down. Not to mention the fact that my boss is starting to think I am using my hip surgery as a crutch. I could not even imagine doing that...I want to be better in the worst way!!! I just wish I would not have had so many complications.

16 Weeks Post Surgery

If you have been following the blog, 1st - thank you, 2nd - you know that my surgery recovery has not been cookie cutter, with having to get a second surgery due to infection. However, I am on the right track now and have been doing great. So below is a breakdown of the recovery process.

• "Forgetting" cane at home
• Gate is getting better when I walk - a little less wobbling (more when I am really tired)
• The hip flexor muscle is getting stronger every day - have some pain at the end of the day from working out, but I attribute that to the fact that a) the muscle had to be cut during surgery and b) I am actually using the muscle again
• As for the numbness - I still have that on the side of my leg from the hip to the knee, but the numbness in the front is starting to go away
• Getting in and out of the car is still a little tricky if I don't "think" about what I am doing
• Squatting down to the floor and getting back up is getting there but not 100% yet
• My range of motion is getting better
• I sleep well throughout the night - even on my right side

Back to life...

I am getting back to life as it was prior to PAO surgery. Every day I am amazed at how I progress with my mobility and strength. I am "forgetting" my cane at home now; although I do need to still have it in the trunk of the car for backup. When I get tired my limp starts to come back.

PT - Yesterday I had PT in the pool. I really enjoyed that. The entire pool was a treadmill; it is a platform that is flush with the floor, then once you step onto it the therapist lowers you into the water...very cool. This was my only pool session at PT as I will use the exercises at the pool in the gym.

"Land" PT has been going great. My therapist, Paul, has been wonderful. He asked the other day if I felt he was doing all he could or if I had hit a plateau in my recovery. I promptly responded that if it wasn't for him I would not be where I am. I said that a week ago I was not able to jog on the treadmill, and that day I was able to. When I say "jog" it is only for a couple of minutes until I start wobbling, but hey it is start!! There was a time after the surgery and the complications that I thought I wouldn't be able to raise my leg up when laying down or return to my previous sports, but now I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

If anyone practices yoga, Pilate's, or good health they know that a persons "core" needs to be strong. Unfortunately, my core has become really weak from all the down time. Paul has been helping me to get this back. I had PT on Tuesday and I was in a full sweat by the time I was finished. I told Paul PT is starting to feel like training sessions. And I love every minute of it.

Gym - On top of have PT twice a week I have returned to the gym. I am able to do about 20 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes on the treadmill. I also am starting to get back to strength training. Wow!! I have gotten weak!! Although I am see things get toned again. So my typical day at the gym includes cardio, strength training (alternating between arms; chest, back, shoulders; and legs depending on the day). I think it will be a while until I am able to play racquetball again. It feels WONDERFUL to be back at the gym (my second home). I just can't wait for February when all the "New Year's Resolution" people disappear.

Work - I really missed my office. I designed my own office when my company bought our new building. I painted the walls in a vibrant two shade golden color. I have pictures, plants, and some other memorabilia so that I feel comfort in my office. I look at as I spend a majority of my day in it, so it needs to feel good and send good vibes. Not to mention I feel so much more productive in my office. Working from home is great - but I did not have access to all of my files making it harder and longer to get some things done. Plus interacting with people other than my mom (who played chauffeur) and my physical therapist makes me feel like the normalcy is being restored.

I am working shorter days (leaving at 3 instead of 5) until I can build my stamina back. I have been anemic since surgery and I have a really hard time getting through a full day. I just went to the doctor last Friday and my H & H levels were really low and my iron is low. I am now on an iron supplement to help that.

So that's that. I am getting better and stronger everyday. And looking forward to getting back to 100% and maybe even better than I was!

Thanks for reading!! See you next post!!