I am done with my pity party! Quite frankly pity parties aren't my bag! I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and that God only give you what you can handle (damn, he has a lot of faith in me). With that said...everyone deserves one day to be "off" and feel down - the next day is a new day and time to move on.
I had another post-op appointment with Goodspeed yesterday. I am not exactly sure what I was hoping to get out of that appointment - I guess I was hoping to go in, tell him about the muscle pain and weakness, and for him to say "Ah, I see. Here is what is wrong, and here is how we can fix it". That did not happen. He told be that the bones look great and from a surgical aspect I am right where I should be. My range of motion has increased since December (last appointment) and the strength tests that they do improved. Heck, my range of motion is better in my PAO hip then it is in my left (but that hip is next for surgery). Goodspeed said the only thing he could think is that I have a labrum tear. He did not see one during the PAO surgery, but said it could have happened since. The only way to know is to do a scope which he will not do until I get my screws removed at the 9 month mark. My 9 month mark is June.
I also had PT that day. I had my pity moment with Paul and voiced my frustration. But then the old Renee came through. I told him that if Goodspeed says I shouldn't be having pain and everything looks good - then it is time to kick it into high gear and fight through the pain. Goodspeed let Paul know that we could start doing more aggressive exercises. He also said I could start jogging at 6 months (March 16th...but who's counting). We did some new exercises - some hurt like a bitch, but I did them.
As you will find I have a lot of beliefs or philosophies. I truly believe overcoming things is part ability and part mind over matter. If you have it in your head that you're going to fail, well, then you most likely will. But if you have it in your head that you can overcome the obstacle - you will!! Positive thinking can be hard sometimes - but it is a key element in the healing and recouping process.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
5 month (and 2 days) Post-op
Warning: this is somewhat of a pity party...I have been feeling down about my progress and needed to get it all out. Sorry for the lack of happiness. I hope to be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon!
Well it has been 5 months and 2 days since my original POA surgery. Today and the past couple of weeks have not been the best for my recovery. I have been in a lot of pain and discomfort. I feel as though I took a giant leap backwards.
Last week we had a breakthrough in physical therapy. I have not been progressing forward and this concerned my physical therapist, Paul, and myself. Paul asked another PT her thoughts on my situation. She came over to my PT table, put her hand on my hip as I was laying down. She had me relax and she moved my leg into a position, all while still having her hand on my hip. She looked over at Paul and said this was the reason that I was not getting better. My muscle is in one giant ball and can't relax. She said that this can happen with people who have hip surgery where cutting the muscle is involved and since I had it done twice - my muscle is not happy. Apparently, my brain and muscle are not working well together. So to help this, my PT is now doing what they call "Strain / Counterstrain" movements with me. Paul has be relax (which is not easy) and then he moves my leg and hip into positions that help the muscle relax. It has only been a week of this, so I am not sure how well it is working.
I have been feeling pretty down lately because of all of this. My biggest problem is that my heart and head are in it, but my body is not. I want soooo badly to be jogging and doing everything that I use to be able to do. I am really scared that I will not be ready to play tennis and that is something I look forward to doing all winter. I am also very, very concerned with gaining weight. I have come so far in my weight loss that I fear gaining even a pound. I was down 100 pounds, but when I started PT and the gym again, I gained 10, so now I am only down 90 pounds.
Anyway, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow with the surgeon and the infectious disease doctor, so I plan to talk to them about all of this. The pain and the fatigue is really wearing me down. Not to mention the fact that my boss is starting to think I am using my hip surgery as a crutch. I could not even imagine doing that...I want to be better in the worst way!!! I just wish I would not have had so many complications.
Well it has been 5 months and 2 days since my original POA surgery. Today and the past couple of weeks have not been the best for my recovery. I have been in a lot of pain and discomfort. I feel as though I took a giant leap backwards.
Last week we had a breakthrough in physical therapy. I have not been progressing forward and this concerned my physical therapist, Paul, and myself. Paul asked another PT her thoughts on my situation. She came over to my PT table, put her hand on my hip as I was laying down. She had me relax and she moved my leg into a position, all while still having her hand on my hip. She looked over at Paul and said this was the reason that I was not getting better. My muscle is in one giant ball and can't relax. She said that this can happen with people who have hip surgery where cutting the muscle is involved and since I had it done twice - my muscle is not happy. Apparently, my brain and muscle are not working well together. So to help this, my PT is now doing what they call "Strain / Counterstrain" movements with me. Paul has be relax (which is not easy) and then he moves my leg and hip into positions that help the muscle relax. It has only been a week of this, so I am not sure how well it is working.
I have been feeling pretty down lately because of all of this. My biggest problem is that my heart and head are in it, but my body is not. I want soooo badly to be jogging and doing everything that I use to be able to do. I am really scared that I will not be ready to play tennis and that is something I look forward to doing all winter. I am also very, very concerned with gaining weight. I have come so far in my weight loss that I fear gaining even a pound. I was down 100 pounds, but when I started PT and the gym again, I gained 10, so now I am only down 90 pounds.
Anyway, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow with the surgeon and the infectious disease doctor, so I plan to talk to them about all of this. The pain and the fatigue is really wearing me down. Not to mention the fact that my boss is starting to think I am using my hip surgery as a crutch. I could not even imagine doing that...I want to be better in the worst way!!! I just wish I would not have had so many complications.
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