"So it's all real, isn't it?" That is just how I feel today. Today I met with the Hem-Onc to set up my chemo schedule. Can you say information overload??? As of now the plan is to have 3 rounds of chemo and then radiation. I will be meeting a radiation doctor to make sure I can do the radiation. The type of chemo I will be going through is R-CHOP. Which stands for (R) Rituxan - (C) Cytoxan (H) Adriamycin (O) Vincristine (P) Prednisone. When I heard the "P" I almost called the whole thing off...LOL!!! I hate prednisone more than any other medicine. I have been on it so many times for my asthma. It is a nasty drug!!! Very helpful, but so full of side effects. Unofortunately, my worst side effect is weight gain. I know this seems vain , but I gained a lot of weight from this drug over the years and finally, finally have taken most of it off. But as with losing me hair...if it has to be done to save my life, well then, so be it.
We sat with my chemo nurse for 45 minutes going over what to expect. It is crazy, the amount of information there is!!! I will be having a port placed on Monday so the chemo drugs can be administered. The doctor, nurse and I decided the port would be the best solution because my veins are crap. When I had my hip surgery I blew through three IV's in one day!! And I have had more IV's infiltrate than I can count. When I told the doctor about this she said that I most definitely getting a port. If a chemo IV would infiltrate it would burn and scar my skin because of how powerful the medications are. So Monday at 8:45 I go into the hospital as an outpatient to have the port inserted on my right side near the clavicle.
My chemo nurse gave me a folder with all of the information about my treatment in it. I swear the thing weighs like 10 lbs!!! Ok, ok, I am probably exaggerating here, but seriously - it's thick!!! The list of meds I will be on is crazy.
I start chemo on January 14th at 1:20pm. This will be the first half of the chemo (the CHOP part). Then on Friday, January 15th I will go back in at 7:40am to get the Rituxan. The Rituxan is the one that has all of the crazy side affects and can have reactions with the body when given for the first time. This will be a very slow drip - and they will monitor me very closely to see how my body reacts.
Next week will be a very hectic week!!! And I will be happy when it is over. I go this weekend to get my hair cut. I am getting it shorter than what it is now, but I am not getting cut short. I know this sounds stupid, but I have never had a really high self esteem, but the one thing I have always liked is my hair...so it is hard to know it will be gone by February. Again...if that is what it takes to save my life...well then, so be it!
Today as I write this I feel overwhelmed, tired and sad. I am still strong, but even the strongest people have weak days, right??? I am off to bed and hope tomorrow is a good mood day, because I can't stand to be sad!!!!
3 comments:
Its okay to have sad or mad days. All of your friends and family will be strong for you on days when you just can't find it in you. You just need to focus on keeping your positive attitude! We, God, the doctors and the medicine will do the rest!!!
Let me know when you need to cry and I will be the shoulder and cry with you. When all the crying is done you can smile and move on knowing you are my friend.
I know that I only know you through blogging, but if I was there that is what I would do. I will light a candle and pray.
Everyone has weak days, even the strongest, like you. It's going to be a rollercoaster, but you can do it. Saying a little prayer that all goes smoothly for you from one Hippie to another. :)
Post a Comment