Tonight feels like the calm before the storm. I had my medi-port placed on Monday and I start chemo tomorrow. I feel very anxious...I am ready to start whatever it takes to get better!!! For the last 29 days I have been counting down for this day. You can only talk about cancer and the plan of attack for so long and I am just ready to get on with it.
It's funny thing, cancer...it changes you. As I said I am only 29 days diagnosed and I already can tell changes in myself. I am normally a pretty high strung person (ask anyone) and I tend to worry about everything and everyone. Now I seem more laid back (at least I think)...things that bothered me before December 15th really haven't bothered me much. In the grand scheme of things some things just aren't important. I even feel stronger mentally. Before when I would get Bronchitis or a Sinus Infection I would let it make me sedentary, now I think a cough or a runny nose are the least of my worries. :-) I don't how to explain it - but I feel different.
I am so blessed!!! I have so many people who are praying and thinking of me. It's funny I have always thought that I wasn't in enough dire need to be on a prayer list and even with cancer I still kind of feel that way. I always look at it this way, 'no matter what is dealt to me...there is always someone else who is dealing with more'. Anyway - I feel so blessed that people think so highly of me to reach out to me and/or pray for me. It all seems different...I usually care for people and now the roles are reversed. Knowing I have the support of so many, makes me feel so calm and at ease when dealing with everything.
T-minus 14 1/2 hours until the first half of my first chemo!!! Let's kick cancer's ass!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment