Quick Update

Hello peeps!!! Sorry for the lack of posts, I promise I will try to get better at this updating thing. The funny thing is, it feels kind of weird to update people or talk about me, all I have ever thought is “like people really care”. But I know that people really DO care – just weird to write about myself you know.
All and all I can’t really complain. Each day is different. There are days where I am very nauseous and days where I feel pretty good. Eating has been a challenge. I feel like every day is an experiment. There are some days where all I can eat are bagels and then other days I seem to do ok with more normal foods. I don’t really like going out to eat anymore though – I just feel like it is a waste of money.

Last Thursday, the 21st was the worst day I have had. I woke up nauseous, dizzy, and felt like a Mac Truck had ran me down. I tried to suck it up and drove into work. But by the time I got to my office I felt worse. I called my chemo nurse and explained everything. She said she wanted me to be seen. Because I was getting hot and then cold, she said that my white blood cell count could be low. Sure enough – it was quite low. So I earned myself four hours at the clinic getting IV meds. Fortunately this Monday, the 25th, when I went in for lab work, my counts were coming back up nicely. I was very happy with that; other wise I would have ended up in the hospital. No thank you!!!

Fatigue is something that I was not expecting. I had plans to carry on life as normal on days when I didn’t have chemo. My body has said other wise. As silly as it sounds, I would much rather deal with the nausea than to feel so tired. I talked to my cousin, Kim, who is a breast cancer survivor to see how she dealt with it. She told me that the fatigue is normal and it will play a big factor in my life for a while. What a hard pill to swallow. Before all of this I was the person who went to the gym at least 5 days a week. Now – I am having trouble even making it there. I went on Tuesday. I made it a mere 18 minutes on the elliptical before I found myself puking my guts out in the bathroom. I will keep on attempting this until I can do it!!!

I have also talked to my boss about having a modified work schedule. I have proposed working 8-3 everyday with a half hour lunch. He said he is willing to let me have a modified schedule but he needed to think about what it would be. I have not heard anything back yet. It was very hard for me to ask for that. I have not had the best luck with my health in my life. And although my work gets done, my time at work has suffered…and now here I am saying “well, something else is now wrong with me…” I hate to show that weakness!!!

Today is a sad day for me. I woke up this morning to find that my hair is starting to fall out. Now, I knew it was coming and I thought I prepared myself for it; but I don’t think anything prepares you for holding handfuls of your hair in your hands. I suspect that over the next few days it will get very thin and I will make that call to my hair stylist to have my head shaved. I keep on joking that it is a good thing I look cute in hats!

Thanks to my awesome friend, Jess, I will be heading to Reading on Saturday to look at getting a wig. I still am not sure if I want a wig, but it doesn’t hurt to meet with someone and look.

So that is what is up. I am still here and I am still fighting!!!! I may have off days – but this fucking cancer will not win!!!!!