Chemo 5 Days out...

So today it has been 5 days since I received my first R-CHOP chemo treatment.  I feel pretty good.  The weekend was a little shaky.  Saturday I felt pretty good up until the evening.  By the evening it felt like I was "getting something"...you know how you feel before a cold sets in.  I really didn't eat all weekend.  I found pieces of bagels seemed to be ok.  My appetite is coming back slowly, but I still can only eat small amounts. 

My biggest "complaint" is the tiredness.  I don't know how to explain it, other than I just feel drained.  I went to the doctor on Monday, because my mouth was so sore.  Turns out it is a side effect from the chemo.  Good Lord, this chemo crap has a lot of side effects!!!  Anyway...when I was at the doctor's I expressed just how tired I was feeling.  I wasn't expecting it to hit me so fast, but she assured me that this is all very normal.  I wish I was able to take naps mid way through my work day...I feel like that would really help, but alas...

Yesterday I had a small breakdown.  I really wanted to go to the gym, but was so tired I fell asleep before I could get my gym clothes on.  Work was pretty bad.  My job can sometimes be pretty stressful, especially with year end / year begin.  Take that normal stress and add my new life stress and it just compounded.  I am so lucky to have Douglas...I came home, I vented, I cried and was my rock!  He is so wonderful that it makes me sad sometimes to think that he got the fuzzy end of the stick in the whole "in sickness and in health" thing. 

Today was a much better day - I really worked hard to remain focused at work and got a lot accomplished.  And I was able to go to the gym this evening.  I only did a half hour on the elliptical and some abs...but it was something, and that is all I really wanted.  I started to get nauseous while I was doing my ab workout and I...are you ready for this, you're not going to believe it...I STOPPED!!!  I know, I know, try and contain yourselves!!  Now you all know that I am the person who fights through pretty much anything, but this time it's different.  This time it's my life I don't want to jeopardize anything in the fight to get it back to where it was.  It's a whole new leaf for me...I will listen to my body!!!

A friend asked me today how I was doing "it"...how I was keeping it all together.  I told her that I have my moments of weakness and that my outlook on life has changed....I take things one day at a time!!!